Tag Archives: violence

Building Self-Esteem in Girls Through Education

Self-esteem in girls peaks at about age nine, and then it tanks from there. Sobering right? Yeah, I pretty much feel like a #fail parent.I want my daughter to feel fulfilled, to know how to shine in her own skin. This requires self-esteem, and I wholeheartedly believe that education is one of the foundational pieces of building self-esteem in girls.Education provides you with opportunities. Education teaches you about other cultures.Education helps you discover what makes you sparkle inside. Continue reading

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Developing Self-Esteem in Children – Principle #4

Our goal in discussing principles for developing self-esteem in children is to help them through their developmental stages emotionally intact and with the resilience to handle the complex issues life may  bring. Principle 4 tells how to give our children confidence and a feeling of reasonable control over their lives.A child needs structure to become secure and strongA child learns confidence from clear rules and structure.I think anyone who is a caregiver for a child wants that child to be strong, confident, capable and secure as he grows from dependence to independence of adulthood. A child learns confidence from clear rules and structure.Every child needs rules and structure in his life. He needs to know that certain rules cannot be negotiated or disputed, especially those around safety and morals that are important to and impact the family. An example of this kind of rule is: there will be no verbal or physical hurting of another family member.It is also important that children are encouraged to make some choices on their own wherever possible, such as: which of two outfits to wear, the type of cereal to eat for breakfast, and what play activities they would like during free time.  Why?  Because one of the most significant part of growing up is making choices, realizing the consequences of those choices and feeling some sense of satisfaction and pride in making those choices. What happens when a child’s personal power does not have a chance to develop?Children who are given some control—or what we at Lakeside call personal power—will gain a sense of confidence at a very early age; whereas, children who are made to feel ineffective will quickly begin to experience shame and a sense of helplessness. This is particularly, true if a caregiver draws attention to a child’s mistake and then, instead of helping the child make amends, makes him feel ashamed, worthless or incompetent.This principle works for teens, tooGiving teenagers who are struggling with a lot of issues personal power by offering them choices is vital to their ability to change and heal. Lakeside works with many teenagers who have been blamed and shamed, and the idea of giving them choices and allowing them to bear the consequences of those choices, good or bad, without blame or shame, empowers them and begins to foster confidence and change.I think each of us likes to think we have some level of control in our respective worlds.  When we feel we have no control (or if we feel incapable of making decisions on our own) then we usually have low self-esteem and become dependent on others for our stability in life.  Moreover, we tend to make poor decisions because we base them on our shame or inadequacies rather than the good experiences we have had in learning how to make decisions.As caregivers, we need to start early and offer children the chance to grow confident by making little decisions. Continue reading

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Self Esteem | Abuse Vs Building Your Self-Esteem | The Self Esteem …

You are here: Home / Featured / Abuse Vs Building Your Self-EsteemAbuse Vs Building Your Self-EsteemPosted by Dr. Irene on August 15, 2012 · Leave a CommentBy Gerri D Smith -Above all, challenge yourself. You may well surprise yourself at what strengths you have, what you can accomplish. Quote by – Cecile M. Continue reading

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Building Self-Esteem in our Children

Building Self-Esteem in our ChildrenPosted onAugust 2, 2012byGerry VassarOne consistent reflection of a healthy child is the level of self-esteem that the child possesses. Many of the at-risk students that are placed in our care at Lakeside have been identified with issues often related to poor self-esteem. These students perceive their world through a lens of insecurity, inadequacy or some form of over-compensation for their perceived inabilities. It takes a great deal of time and reframing to help these students gain the self-confidence and capability to change their self-perception.So, how does a child grow in self-esteem?Self-esteem can mean different things to different individuals.Self-esteem can mean different things to different individuals. As I discuss this topic, I thought I would start by identifying some key concepts that define a healthy self-esteem.Healthy self-esteem in an individual is characterized by:A global self-esteem, or a basic core feeling of being worthy of love and respect, and of being accepted by others.  A basic core belief that he or she has the competence to survive and live a productive life, has a sense of control over life, and a sense of self-efficacy.  A realistic view of his or her strengths and weaknesses in areas such as physical ability, intellectual capacity, moral worth and a view of others. A sense of self that can adapt to and accommodate new information about self as it becomes available.  A sense that perfection is impossible.  (In other words, the person is not trying to live up to an ideal standard that is impossible to meet and does not have an inflated view of his or her abilities.) Next time, a look at how fear affects self-esteemCharacteristics of self-esteem seem to be rather difficult to attain for many people.  We live in a society that is extremely fear-based and largely insecure.  I find that most of us struggle with our self-esteem and are often not sure what to do about it.I hope in my next few posts to discuss this issue in how self-esteem is developed in our children.   We do have the responsibility and privilege to help our children develop into healthy individuals as they grow into adulthood.  Hopefully in understanding this process we may have insights into our own world of self-understanding and healthy esteem.Gerry Vassar, President/CEO, Lakeside Educational NetworkSome research taken from Pathways to Competence,  Second Edition, Sarah Landy, p. 331.   Related posts:Building Your Teenager’s Self-Esteem: Power Building Your Teenager’s Self-Esteem: Uniqueness Building Your Teenager’s Self-Esteem: Connectiveness Continue reading

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