Tag Archives: seconds

60 Seconds to Confidence Tip #18 « Building Self Confidence Blog

9Jul/13060 Seconds to Confidence Tip #18Recently, one of my new clients said, “The worst thing that can happen to a gambler is to win.”When gamblers win they often get an inflated idea of their ability to beat the odds. That’s how they lose a load of money, and other important things, in the long run.My client could see parallels with this gambling mindset and behaviour to his tendency to ‘wing it’, prepare at the last minute and talk his way out of trouble if he needed to.He realised that he had kidded himself that he was too creative and spontaneous to need or desire systems and planning. He thought that having systems would cramp his style and make life boring.Then something happened that made him admit he could be even more profitable and successful in his life if only he created successful systems for marketing, selling, leading his team, making sure he recharged his batteries etc. Systems would make his success more predictable, he would experience fewer nasty surprises and he would have time to be more creative rather than fighting fires. Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #15 « Building Self Confidence Blog

29Jun/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #15Do you remember your parents ever saying to you, ‘Mind your language!’?They may have being referring to something they thought was rude or cheeky about what you said.The reason why they mentioned it and why I’m mentioning it now is because our language patterns can have a really powerful influence on our emotions.Of course there are the obvious things like self-criticism, blame or praise, but what I’m talking about is more subtle.If I say to you, ‘This sorting out your relationship or career or business issue…it’s going to be a problem,’ how do you feel?How does that feeling change if I say, ‘This sorting out your relationship, business or career issue…it’s going to be a challenge’?And what if I say, ‘This sorting out your relationship, business or career issue…it’s going to be an adventure.’ How do you feel now?I’ve found that most of my clients say they feel more positive about tackling the issues when I call it a challenge or an adventure. If you do too, then use those words!Basically, I’m encouraging you to use whatever language helps you to feel most resourceful and positive about getting something resolved. So, if you have become jaded with the politically correct use of the word ‘challenge’, then find your own empowering vocabulary.Have fun creating more uplifting language patterns for yourself and watch your personal, career and business success soar!Warm wishesMadeleineFiled under: 60 Seconds to ConfidenceLeave a comment Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #12 « Building Self Confidence Blog

18Jun/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #12A friend of mine told me he was going to a business conference. When he got back, I asked him how it went. He said, ‘It was just how I thought it would be…boring, lonely and a complete waste of time.His experience reminded me of a valuable thing to remember:‘Thoughts can become things, so choose the good ones!’Did my friend’s thoughts become self-fulfilling? I wonder if there were other people who went home after that conference energised and inspired having found interesting things to do and people to meet?But…if you’ve ever tried consistently to think positively, you’ll probably be saying to yourself, ‘Thinking positively is easier said than done!’ After all, we tend to be surrounded by bad news. We’re more wired to see obstacles and things that are wrong than opportunities and things that are right. Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #9 « Building Self Confidence Blog

8Jun/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #9If you’re feeling like you’re in a ‘double bind’ at the moment, this week’s tip could be timely.What do I mean by a ‘double bind’?Well, if you feel you’re in a situation where whatever you do or whatever direction you take, there will be some pain attached so you slide into inaction and procrastination – that’s a ‘double bind’.Here are some ‘double binds’ my clients have expressed recently:I need to make more sales but I hate selling’ I want to be a strong leader who my team respects but I don’t like being aggressive’ ‘I need to earn more money but I don’t want to lose the quality time I spend with my partner’ ‘I ought to leave this difficult relationship but I’m worried I’ll regret doing that’ ‘I should go for a promotion but I’m anxious that I won’t be able to manage the responsibility and decision making’ ‘I need to have a difficult conversation with him but I’m afraid I’ll mess it up and he’ll blow up in my face’ One way to deal with a ‘double bind’ is to ask yourself a question that begins with ‘How can I…?’ and that also has in it an assumption that the double bind can be resolved.For example:‘How can I make more sales while enjoying selling?’ or ‘How can I earn more money and still have lots of quality time with my partner?’These are solution-focussed and open questions that unlock the creativity and resources of our brains, our ‘neck-top computers’.The answers may not appear immediately but they could well pop up when you least expect them – such as when your hands are busy and your mind is free, like when gardening or out on a walk. I often get those ideas when I’m in that state between being asleep and being fully awake, early in the morning, so I keep a notebook handy to help me capture them.What open, solution-focussed question could you ask about a ‘double-bind’ in your life? What doors could it open that previously seemed shut?Warm wishesMadeleineFiled under: 60 Seconds to ConfidenceLeave a comment Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #8 « Building Self Confidence Blog

4Jun/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #8If you’ve been feeling angry, hurt, disappointed or sad about the actions of a partner, friend, colleague, client or supplier, this week’s tip will be really useful for you.It’s especially important if you haven’t been able to get rid of those negative feelings. Why? Because holding negative feelings about someone is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die!When you’re in a negative situation with someone, just ask this simple question of yourself, in a CURIOUS tone of voice. “If I had a part to play in creating this situation, what was it?” Then take action according to your answer.I asked a senior manager this question while he was fuming about the actions of one of his team members that had nearly lost the company a valuable sale. His answer made him realise that he needed to take more steps to check his employees understood what was expected of them and that he needed to make a stronger case for having that person report to him directly.When I asked it of a parent who was frustrated by his daughter’s lack of confidence, his answer made him realise that he had been (in his words) a ‘Dictator Dad’ and a ‘Rescuer Dad’ rather than an ‘Empowerer Dad’ Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #7 « Building Self Confidence Blog

1Jun/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #7Do you have all the energy and motivation you need or are you feeling pressure or stress? If you want less stress, this week’s tips could help.Take some time to make a list of what drains you and what energises you.Sometimes things can appear on both sides of your list.For instance, family, friends, clients, employees and colleagues can appear as drains or energisers depending on who they are and how they interact with you… or you with them.Another example…moderate exercise can be an energiser activating the ‘happy’ chemicals in your brain and raising your stamina. Excessive exercise can wear you out in an already busy life.What are you putting up with that drains your energy? Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #3 « Building Self Confidence Blog

18May/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #3Because our thoughts guide our actions and our actions get us results, if you think what you’ve always thought, you’ll find that you’ll get what you’ve always got.When you weed out limiting beliefs and thoughts, you’ll gain a massive amount of energy, inspiration and time to succeed in your business, career and personal life.What do limiting beliefs sound like? Well they go through your head in a critical, negative or anxious tone. They sometimes get louder when we’re about to step out of our comfort zone. Continue reading

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Happiness

Original source:  Happiness

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