Tag Archives: coaching

60 Seconds to Confidence Tip #18 « Building Self Confidence Blog

9Jul/13060 Seconds to Confidence Tip #18Recently, one of my new clients said, “The worst thing that can happen to a gambler is to win.”When gamblers win they often get an inflated idea of their ability to beat the odds. That’s how they lose a load of money, and other important things, in the long run.My client could see parallels with this gambling mindset and behaviour to his tendency to ‘wing it’, prepare at the last minute and talk his way out of trouble if he needed to.He realised that he had kidded himself that he was too creative and spontaneous to need or desire systems and planning. He thought that having systems would cramp his style and make life boring.Then something happened that made him admit he could be even more profitable and successful in his life if only he created successful systems for marketing, selling, leading his team, making sure he recharged his batteries etc. Systems would make his success more predictable, he would experience fewer nasty surprises and he would have time to be more creative rather than fighting fires. Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence Tip #17 « Building Self Confidence Blog

6Jul/13060 Seconds to Confidence Tip #17Are you a Detail Person or a Big Picture Person? Which of these two types are your colleagues, family members or clients?If you are a Detail Person you notice and talk about the small details. You like going into detail when you are writing something, telling a story or telling someone else how to do something. You like to know about the detail when a person asks you do something or is telling you a story Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #14 « Building Self Confidence Blog

25Jun/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #14If you are finding that Procrastination is a thief of your success in any area of your personal, business or career life, this week’s tip will be helpful to you.Think of one task or goal you keep procrastinating about and, with that task in mind, take this procrastination busting test:Is the task really a project? Should it be chunked down into more manageable activities? How important is it that you do it? Could or should it be delegated? Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #12 « Building Self Confidence Blog

18Jun/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #12A friend of mine told me he was going to a business conference. When he got back, I asked him how it went. He said, ‘It was just how I thought it would be…boring, lonely and a complete waste of time.His experience reminded me of a valuable thing to remember:‘Thoughts can become things, so choose the good ones!’Did my friend’s thoughts become self-fulfilling? I wonder if there were other people who went home after that conference energised and inspired having found interesting things to do and people to meet?But…if you’ve ever tried consistently to think positively, you’ll probably be saying to yourself, ‘Thinking positively is easier said than done!’ After all, we tend to be surrounded by bad news. We’re more wired to see obstacles and things that are wrong than opportunities and things that are right. Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #8 « Building Self Confidence Blog

4Jun/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #8If you’ve been feeling angry, hurt, disappointed or sad about the actions of a partner, friend, colleague, client or supplier, this week’s tip will be really useful for you.It’s especially important if you haven’t been able to get rid of those negative feelings. Why? Because holding negative feelings about someone is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die!When you’re in a negative situation with someone, just ask this simple question of yourself, in a CURIOUS tone of voice. “If I had a part to play in creating this situation, what was it?” Then take action according to your answer.I asked a senior manager this question while he was fuming about the actions of one of his team members that had nearly lost the company a valuable sale. His answer made him realise that he needed to take more steps to check his employees understood what was expected of them and that he needed to make a stronger case for having that person report to him directly.When I asked it of a parent who was frustrated by his daughter’s lack of confidence, his answer made him realise that he had been (in his words) a ‘Dictator Dad’ and a ‘Rescuer Dad’ rather than an ‘Empowerer Dad’ Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #7 « Building Self Confidence Blog

1Jun/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #7Do you have all the energy and motivation you need or are you feeling pressure or stress? If you want less stress, this week’s tips could help.Take some time to make a list of what drains you and what energises you.Sometimes things can appear on both sides of your list.For instance, family, friends, clients, employees and colleagues can appear as drains or energisers depending on who they are and how they interact with you… or you with them.Another example…moderate exercise can be an energiser activating the ‘happy’ chemicals in your brain and raising your stamina. Excessive exercise can wear you out in an already busy life.What are you putting up with that drains your energy? Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #4 « Building Self Confidence Blog

21May/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #4I was listening to the BBC news last week and a journalist commented that one reason why there was such a cynical attitude to the EU in the UK is that we don’t think of ourselves as European. So we regard legislation coming out of Brussels as interference. I’m sure that debate will run and run but he definitely hit the nail on the head when he identified that how we think of ourselves is crucial to the successof our goals, our projects, our business, our career and our personal life.For example, the most successful business owners I’ve coached are the ones that first and foremost, grow to think of themselves as Entrepreneurswho happen to run a business providing a particular product or service, rather than thinking of themselves as primarily a Technical Expert related to the product or service they provide – whether they started out as a lawyer, accountant, a builder, graphic designer or….They are comfortable with being Marketers and Salespeople or at least make sure those things get done.The most successful owner managers and managers (and parents) I’ve coached are ones that think of themselves as Leaders and Empowerers of People For them, people problems are not things that get in the way of real work and life. They relish forging high performing teams and are fascinated by learning all they need to succeed.When I’ve coached individuals and teams in negotiation and influencing skills, I’ve often found they start out by thinking of a good Haggler as the person they need to be. During the programme they’ve discovered that Win-win Negotiator is a better person to be for creating effective and fulfilling work and personal relationships.How you think of yourself and the role models you choose influence all your actions, how you spend your time, the skills you are willing to invest in learning and ultimately your results and quality of life Continue reading

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20 Simple Ways to Stoke Your Self-Confidence | Live Bold & Bloom

Once upon a time there was a small child known as you.This child was born into the world pure and perfect, aware only of its own needs. If those needs were met, if someone held you, fed you, kept you safe and warm, your world was perfect.Even as you got a bit older, if your parents were loving and kind, you still had a strong sense of yourself as you explored the world and discovered the wonders of living.But around the time of kindergarten, things started to change. You encountered other children whose words stung, who were faster, stronger, smarter, prettier. You had to perform in school, to win the teacher’s approval, to follow the rules. Continue reading

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Fuck Self Love – Bruce Muzik's Personal Development Blog

How To Stop Trying To Love Yourself, And Start Being HappyHaving spent a lot of my 20’s and early 30’s battling mild depression, I’ve read far too many self-help books in an attempt to figure out why I was miserable with my wonderful life.At some point, almost every book cited self esteem as the problem and learning to love yourself as the miracle cure for unhappiness.Not one of the books actually had a step-by-step prescription for how to love yourself.So, the question I’ve been asking myself for years is:Exactly how the fuck am I supposed to love myself?Do I wake up in the morning and hug myself?Do I look at myself in the mirror (with puppy-dog eyes) and repeat the mantra “I love you, Bruce. I love you, man. You’re awesome!” over and over until I believe myself?Do I give myself long warm baths and take myself for a massage once a week?I can tell you, I’ve tried all of these… and although some of them temporarily made me feel better, none of them ever made me love myself any more or magically altered my self esteem at all.So, how the fuck do you love yourself then?The answer is simple: You don’t.You can’t.Mathematically impossible.“Huh?”Because you are Love.You can’t love yourself, because…YOU. ARE. Continue reading

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10 Surprising Ways to Boost Your Self-Confidence | Live Bold & Bloom

Do you consider yourself self-confident?Self-confidence is the feeling of assurance in who you are — in spite of your life circumstances or achievements. It is the ability to love and accept yourself, flaws and all, and view yourself from a perspective of optimistic realism and acceptance.Most of us at some point in our lives, or for big chunks of our lives, have dealt with low self-confidence.Throughout our lives and well into adulthood, our life experiences can impact our self-confidence. Sometimes a dip in self-confidence is episodic — like a job loss, a divorce, or a financial crisis. Something bad happens, and until we can get our footing again, we feel discouraged and inadequate.We may feel wounded for a while, but over time we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again. Continue reading

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