Tag Archives: advice

60 Seconds to Confidence tip #15 « Building Self Confidence Blog

29Jun/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #15Do you remember your parents ever saying to you, ‘Mind your language!’?They may have being referring to something they thought was rude or cheeky about what you said.The reason why they mentioned it and why I’m mentioning it now is because our language patterns can have a really powerful influence on our emotions.Of course there are the obvious things like self-criticism, blame or praise, but what I’m talking about is more subtle.If I say to you, ‘This sorting out your relationship or career or business issue…it’s going to be a problem,’ how do you feel?How does that feeling change if I say, ‘This sorting out your relationship, business or career issue…it’s going to be a challenge’?And what if I say, ‘This sorting out your relationship, business or career issue…it’s going to be an adventure.’ How do you feel now?I’ve found that most of my clients say they feel more positive about tackling the issues when I call it a challenge or an adventure. If you do too, then use those words!Basically, I’m encouraging you to use whatever language helps you to feel most resourceful and positive about getting something resolved. So, if you have become jaded with the politically correct use of the word ‘challenge’, then find your own empowering vocabulary.Have fun creating more uplifting language patterns for yourself and watch your personal, career and business success soar!Warm wishesMadeleineFiled under: 60 Seconds to ConfidenceLeave a comment Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #12 « Building Self Confidence Blog

18Jun/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #12A friend of mine told me he was going to a business conference. When he got back, I asked him how it went. He said, ‘It was just how I thought it would be…boring, lonely and a complete waste of time.His experience reminded me of a valuable thing to remember:‘Thoughts can become things, so choose the good ones!’Did my friend’s thoughts become self-fulfilling? I wonder if there were other people who went home after that conference energised and inspired having found interesting things to do and people to meet?But…if you’ve ever tried consistently to think positively, you’ll probably be saying to yourself, ‘Thinking positively is easier said than done!’ After all, we tend to be surrounded by bad news. We’re more wired to see obstacles and things that are wrong than opportunities and things that are right. Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #9 « Building Self Confidence Blog

8Jun/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #9If you’re feeling like you’re in a ‘double bind’ at the moment, this week’s tip could be timely.What do I mean by a ‘double bind’?Well, if you feel you’re in a situation where whatever you do or whatever direction you take, there will be some pain attached so you slide into inaction and procrastination – that’s a ‘double bind’.Here are some ‘double binds’ my clients have expressed recently:I need to make more sales but I hate selling’ I want to be a strong leader who my team respects but I don’t like being aggressive’ ‘I need to earn more money but I don’t want to lose the quality time I spend with my partner’ ‘I ought to leave this difficult relationship but I’m worried I’ll regret doing that’ ‘I should go for a promotion but I’m anxious that I won’t be able to manage the responsibility and decision making’ ‘I need to have a difficult conversation with him but I’m afraid I’ll mess it up and he’ll blow up in my face’ One way to deal with a ‘double bind’ is to ask yourself a question that begins with ‘How can I…?’ and that also has in it an assumption that the double bind can be resolved.For example:‘How can I make more sales while enjoying selling?’ or ‘How can I earn more money and still have lots of quality time with my partner?’These are solution-focussed and open questions that unlock the creativity and resources of our brains, our ‘neck-top computers’.The answers may not appear immediately but they could well pop up when you least expect them – such as when your hands are busy and your mind is free, like when gardening or out on a walk. I often get those ideas when I’m in that state between being asleep and being fully awake, early in the morning, so I keep a notebook handy to help me capture them.What open, solution-focussed question could you ask about a ‘double-bind’ in your life? What doors could it open that previously seemed shut?Warm wishesMadeleineFiled under: 60 Seconds to ConfidenceLeave a comment Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #8 « Building Self Confidence Blog

4Jun/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #8If you’ve been feeling angry, hurt, disappointed or sad about the actions of a partner, friend, colleague, client or supplier, this week’s tip will be really useful for you.It’s especially important if you haven’t been able to get rid of those negative feelings. Why? Because holding negative feelings about someone is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die!When you’re in a negative situation with someone, just ask this simple question of yourself, in a CURIOUS tone of voice. “If I had a part to play in creating this situation, what was it?” Then take action according to your answer.I asked a senior manager this question while he was fuming about the actions of one of his team members that had nearly lost the company a valuable sale. His answer made him realise that he needed to take more steps to check his employees understood what was expected of them and that he needed to make a stronger case for having that person report to him directly.When I asked it of a parent who was frustrated by his daughter’s lack of confidence, his answer made him realise that he had been (in his words) a ‘Dictator Dad’ and a ‘Rescuer Dad’ rather than an ‘Empowerer Dad’ Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #7 « Building Self Confidence Blog

1Jun/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #7Do you have all the energy and motivation you need or are you feeling pressure or stress? If you want less stress, this week’s tips could help.Take some time to make a list of what drains you and what energises you.Sometimes things can appear on both sides of your list.For instance, family, friends, clients, employees and colleagues can appear as drains or energisers depending on who they are and how they interact with you… or you with them.Another example…moderate exercise can be an energiser activating the ‘happy’ chemicals in your brain and raising your stamina. Excessive exercise can wear you out in an already busy life.What are you putting up with that drains your energy? Continue reading

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Try This Helpful Advice On Developing Yourself Personally …

Helpful Advice On Developing Yourself PersonallyYou should work to improve your life if you are not satisfied. Below are some tips that can help you help yourself.Use your work time efficiently. One simple solution is to go on more breaks while you work. Taking breaks is not a waste of time. It will help you stay relaxed and focused on what you need to accomplish.Writing out your goals will help you develop your own plan for personal growth Continue reading

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6 key steps to building self-confidence | Well+Good NYC

(Photo: Intentblog.com)By Alicia Amie for Intentblog.comHave you been looking for professional and personal success? Do you want to make an uplifting difference in your life? Would you like to maximize your potential?If you are tired of feeling anxious, discouraged and afraid then pay attention because this one’s for you!Did you know that self-confidence affects your thoughts, feelings, behavior, body, the way you look and, most influential, your decision making process? That’s right…self-confidence affects a persons choices in life.Question: Can someone with low self-esteem develop self-confidence?Answer: But of course! So let’s get started! What does it take to have the confidence you’ve been looking for? Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #4 « Building Self Confidence Blog

21May/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #4I was listening to the BBC news last week and a journalist commented that one reason why there was such a cynical attitude to the EU in the UK is that we don’t think of ourselves as European. So we regard legislation coming out of Brussels as interference. I’m sure that debate will run and run but he definitely hit the nail on the head when he identified that how we think of ourselves is crucial to the successof our goals, our projects, our business, our career and our personal life.For example, the most successful business owners I’ve coached are the ones that first and foremost, grow to think of themselves as Entrepreneurswho happen to run a business providing a particular product or service, rather than thinking of themselves as primarily a Technical Expert related to the product or service they provide – whether they started out as a lawyer, accountant, a builder, graphic designer or….They are comfortable with being Marketers and Salespeople or at least make sure those things get done.The most successful owner managers and managers (and parents) I’ve coached are ones that think of themselves as Leaders and Empowerers of People For them, people problems are not things that get in the way of real work and life. They relish forging high performing teams and are fascinated by learning all they need to succeed.When I’ve coached individuals and teams in negotiation and influencing skills, I’ve often found they start out by thinking of a good Haggler as the person they need to be. During the programme they’ve discovered that Win-win Negotiator is a better person to be for creating effective and fulfilling work and personal relationships.How you think of yourself and the role models you choose influence all your actions, how you spend your time, the skills you are willing to invest in learning and ultimately your results and quality of life Continue reading

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60 Seconds to Confidence tip #3 « Building Self Confidence Blog

18May/13060 Seconds to Confidence tip #3Because our thoughts guide our actions and our actions get us results, if you think what you’ve always thought, you’ll find that you’ll get what you’ve always got.When you weed out limiting beliefs and thoughts, you’ll gain a massive amount of energy, inspiration and time to succeed in your business, career and personal life.What do limiting beliefs sound like? Well they go through your head in a critical, negative or anxious tone. They sometimes get louder when we’re about to step out of our comfort zone. Continue reading

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Fuck Self Love – Bruce Muzik's Personal Development Blog

How To Stop Trying To Love Yourself, And Start Being HappyHaving spent a lot of my 20’s and early 30’s battling mild depression, I’ve read far too many self-help books in an attempt to figure out why I was miserable with my wonderful life.At some point, almost every book cited self esteem as the problem and learning to love yourself as the miracle cure for unhappiness.Not one of the books actually had a step-by-step prescription for how to love yourself.So, the question I’ve been asking myself for years is:Exactly how the fuck am I supposed to love myself?Do I wake up in the morning and hug myself?Do I look at myself in the mirror (with puppy-dog eyes) and repeat the mantra “I love you, Bruce. I love you, man. You’re awesome!” over and over until I believe myself?Do I give myself long warm baths and take myself for a massage once a week?I can tell you, I’ve tried all of these… and although some of them temporarily made me feel better, none of them ever made me love myself any more or magically altered my self esteem at all.So, how the fuck do you love yourself then?The answer is simple: You don’t.You can’t.Mathematically impossible.“Huh?”Because you are Love.You can’t love yourself, because…YOU. ARE. Continue reading

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